***Off The Cuff***

What Safe Word?

By Guardian's Sugar
July 25, 2003


This position will not be popular with the masses, but
that's never stopped me before. I don't believe a safe word is a
mandatory aspect of a scene. In reality, many people play safely
without the use of safe words. I, for one, do not have the option
of using a safe word during play. Master has a safe word that he
uses when playing with others. But as his property, I do not have
the luxury of a safe word, even when playing with others under
Master's direction. I do not have the right to say no or even whoa
simply because I don't like where the scene is going or I don't want
the particular toy used on my delicate flesh.

I am not saying that I am not given the privilege of communication
with Master during a scene. There must always be communication
between Top and bottom, Master and slave, etc. But the only
occasions I call for Master during a scene are to alert him if my
physical or emotional welfare is in immediate danger of being
damaged. Not hurt, mind you, but harmed. There is a huge
difference between hurt and harm; living with a sadist will teach
you that difference very quickly.

Just because I don't believe safe words are mandatory doesn't mean
that submissives who use a safe word aren't "true lifestylers."
That's just rubbish. I am not a proponent of the arbitrary removal
of safe words during play. Safe words are necessary, especially
when playing with someone you don't know or don't know well. (Of
course, a safe word is only as trustworthy as the Top who must
adhere to its use but that's another article.) In fact, I was given
the privilege of a safe word in the beginning of my relationship
with Master. At the time, it was necessary for Master and me to
have a form of communication that did not require a lot of thought
on my part or deciphering skills on Master's part. It was quite
simple. Master's safe word is Guardian; once you call Guardian, you
have one minute to communicate the problem at hand and decide
whether you want the scene to continue or end. I know many that
communicate the same needs during a scene with the color system,
red, yellow and green.

I have read and heard many differing opinions on the purposes and
use of safe words. Recently I read an article with the explanation
that safe words were to be used by the bottom during a scene if they
didn't like the play or were just tired. I wholeheartedly disagree
with that premise but I also know many that don't take sugar in
their tea, so to each his own. Still, when the option of using a
safe word existed for me it was never to be used so lightly. It is
my opinion that anyone who uses a safe word during a scene for
reasons other than safety is simply topping from the bottom.

I understand the incorporation of safe words during play. I
realize this was a safety net put in place to protect both
submissive and dominant alike. However, as Master's slave there is
no longer any valid motivation for my use of a safe word. Let's be
realistic, if I cannot trust him with my life during a scene then I
have no business entrusting my entire life to him on a daily basis.
There is another compelling factor for the removal of that safety
net during play; as Master's property, I no longer have the option
of consenting to or denying consent for anything Master chooses to
do to me. I had the option of consent when I was his submissive,
but as a slave, I have chosen the life of consensual non-consent and
absolute surrender.

In short, safe words may be necessary for some during play; but as
Master's slave, safe words are not an option in my life. I am,
nonetheless, responsible to communicate something to Master he may
not be aware of, but is then his decision how best to handle the
situation. The duration and intensity of a scene is never my
decision. I am as much his toy as the floggers or knives he uses
during play. Has there ever been a time when I wanted to tell Master
to put his flogger down and back away slowly? Of course! There have
been many times I thought Master was going to break his most prized
possession€ ¦’¥me. And although I have felt at the breaking point many
times during a scene with my sadistic Master, I have never stepped
out of my mind to beg a scene's end. I am always greatly rewarded
for my definitive trust by the knowledge that I have put my trust in
a Master who pushes my limits but never goes beyond what I can
ultimately handle at that moment. My choices are not for everyone,
but as I've said before. "I wouldn't trade my relationship with
Master for an unlimited platinum credit card." Anyone who knows me
well knows the magnitude of that statement.

As Always, thank you for taking time out of your day to spend with
me.

Master Guardian's Sugar
"Off The Cuff"

Copyright 2003 Master Guardian's Sugar